NOTES FROM A COACH
CHAPTER THREE

STAGE FRIGHT is your FRIEND!

• Stage Fright: What is it?
• Embrace the Fear: It's useful!
• DROP your EXPECTATIONS!
• Flexing the Meditation Muscle
• DIVA warnings!

Stage Fright: What is it?

The simple fact is that all performers suffer from stage fright to one degree or another. Sometimes it turns up in the old familiar ways such as a slightly nauseous stomach, or we find ourselves shaking and trembling or forgetting lyrics or arrangement details that we have worked so hard to memorize.

But there are a lot of other more hidden ways that Stage Fright can turn up and work against us. Sometimes it manifests as terrible sadness or depression around the day of performance or as an actual physical illness such as a cold, the flu, throat ailments or migraines. All are physical symptoms of a deep anxiety about the act of performing in public or in the studio.

The simple fact is that all singers go through some kind of anxiety about performance ·but why? Arent we supposed to be enjoying the experience and fullfilling our dreams by the act of singing? Why the horrible complication of anxiety that accompanies this most joyfull of acts? Why can't we make it a pleasurable experience for us as well as the audience? Well the answer is of course we can work on stage fright and lesson it in a variety of ways and even learn to embrace the anxiety as a usefull tool that helps in the building of a good performance, eventually coming to welcome the shaky knees and adrenaline rush that often accompany even the best performers.

Embrace the Fear: It's useful!

The first step towards conquering the fear is in embracing the fear as a usefull tool for us. If we didn't care and weren't worked up about doing well mabye we would be more relaxed..but would we have that extra kick of energy that often propels us into a stronger performance? Think of your favorite moments onstage..it's a good bet you were more nervous before those performances than usual. And that nervous energy worked for you instead of against you. Think of yourself on a first date...the desire to make a good impression can make us more charming and attentive, unusually witty and much more
charismatic, all things that can keep us more alive and intense onstage as well. Why not make an agreement with your fear...acknowledge that it will be there and find a way of welcoming it in when you start to feel it creeping into your conciousness.

Say to yourself "This is a sign that tonight will be a good show" and see if you can change your thinking about what stage fright is for you. If you can make friends with it and accept that it will be there you will be less likely to feel overwhelmed by it and you'll find yourself being able to control it much easier.

DROP your EXPECTATIONS!

Nervousness works against you when your voice ends up quavery throughout the show or you get so insecure that you start forgetting notes or end up missing entrances. Stage Fright is debilitating if you find yourself throwing up before every show or too sick to perform on a regular basis. This kind of debilitating stage fright is nothing to be ashamed about many established stars have had to deal with extreme cases of stage fright, most notably Carly Simon and Barbara Striesand.The first step towards getting a handle on this kind of difficult condition is to lower your sights and learn to enjoy yourself in the moment!

Singers with severe stage fright usually have unusually high expectations of themselves and find themselves unable to face the insecurity of stage performing on a regular basis. But remember that drive for perfection that may be hurting you is also an important element in what makes an artist achieve greatness. Learn to accept that not every performance or recording will be 100 % perfect and relax your expectations of yourself. What if we just said to ourselves "Tonight Im going to do the best that I can and next time I'll do it better!" Its really as simple as that but sometimes that's a hard life lesson to learn, especially for high functioning intelligent motivated creative people.

Flexing the Meditation Muscle

When there is a lot riding on our performance we need to be calm and peaceful and secure in the knowledge that we've done enough preperation and rehearsal and that we will meet the challenge to the best of our abilities and learn from our mistakes so we can do better next time.

It is usually possible to soften the symptoms by doing work on oneself.

My first suggestion is to look at what you are holding in your head, starting with the practice of daily meditation to draw off the anxious energy and get you some space inside instead of having your fear run the whole show. Just getting a calm clear space inside will help a lot. Then start to fill your concioussness with positive messages·like "I sing because I love it", or "I am creating the joy of music in my life starting with this show". Putting new positive thoughts and feelings in your head and heart will really help if you practice it daily. Be patient and give it a chance to work over time!

To get practiced at overcoming your fear force yourself to sing somewhere once a week (even if its an open mike). If you prefer a more private setting then ask a few friends to a regular jam. That way you'll get used to climbing on the horse and get more comfortable with the symtoms of the related stress.

Keep a journal where you observe the stress levels and the way that they express themselves. Chart the gradual changes as they happen so you can feel your improvement over the course of time as you get more practiced.

On show days write down everything that is worrying you no matter how small or silly it may seem. Actually recognizing what your carrying in your head will help you let it all go and create room for more positive thought patterns in the future.

DIVA warnings!

Freaking out because you've got voice problems the day of a big show? Find yourself screaming at the mailman? Are you calling up your manager or you bandmates and making rediculous petty demands that make you sound like a big scared baby?

Well mabye that's all you are capable of being right now. Isn't it OK to let it out?

The artistic tempermant is given to wild flunctuations in mood and behavior and sometimes we let ourselves get away with treating the people around us badly. Since they are the team gathered to help us create our art this kind of behavior can only reflect badly on us and cause us harm in the end. In fact many a promising career has been slowed or ground to a halt simply because noone was willing to put up with such bad behavior. Most folks in the industry know that it's just a sign of insecurity and can be understanding to a point. But truly awful treatment of other people is never exusable and in general one finds that the most successful artists have a handle on their fears and anxieties enough that they do not act them out on others.

That should be an important goal for the singers suffering from any kind of stage fright. Repeat after me "I am grateful for the opportunity to make music". Say it a lot, you're going to need that attitude if you want to succeed!

How to lose your Diva? I suggest that nervous singers get away from people and stay as private as possible the day of performances.

Take care of that big scared baby in really truly comforting ways. A bubble bath. A yummy meal. A phone call with a dear close friend. Watch a favorite movie or listen to a favorite recording. Best of all for a really good performance put that baby to sleep for a really good nap! That's the most useful of all!